This past few years has taught me so much of forgiveness. With personal, religious, and business situations. Letting others take control of my life through betrayals. Only when I broke free of the pain and hurt did I begin to heal. Only then did I realize how important it is to forgive. After all the only one it hurts by holding onto pain is ourselves.
When I allowed myself to trust and believe in others I opened myself to hurt. After all, you only know someone as they let you see them. We are blinded at times by trust. We never know a persons true intentions.
I am not saying not to trust people. I am asking, do we really know how to forgive? When people hurt us, we expect them to say sorry for causing us pain. Making it easy to forgive them. Most times that sorry never comes. Or isn’t heart felt. People want to find themselves right so much they will never admit they made mistakes. It is wrong for us to expect it.
Have you ever known people who will do what ever they can to get ahead. Even hurting others to get what they want. We can’t expect that type of personality to ever say they are sorry. Or even think they were wrong. We only see things one-sided, through our own eyes. Which makes it even that much harder to find forgiveness.
It is said, “it is far harder to forgive than forget.” To forgive is more about us coming to terms with our own anger and hurt than the person who hurt us. It is only when we can rise above the situation and decided it is time to forgive and move past the hurt that we heal. Forgiveness allows us to forgive others, in turn forgiving ourselves.To hold on to hurt and pain kills our spirit. It turns us into the person who hurt us. We start to become angry, spiteful, and bitter. Even going to far as hurting our family and friends with anger that we let build up inside us. Even acting out toward the person who hurt us. It’s a vicious cycle that we alone have to decided to stop.
Forgiveness is self sacrifice. It states in Hebrews: without the shedding of blood, there is no forgiveness. Applied in the situation for forgiveness of others, we could say, that “the shedding of blood” would be the shedding of our hurt. Leaving behind the pain in order to forgive the person who wronged us. Before the hurt turns us into someone we don’t want to be. Even those who talk harshly of us or lie to make themselves look good. Our forgiveness is needed for us to heal our own hearts.
In Proverbs the Lord speaks on those who speak out against us and how we should react to it.
“To acquire wisdom is to love oneself: People who cherish understanding will prosper. A false witness will not go unpunished and a lire will be destroyed. It isn’t right for a fool to live in luxury or a slave to rule over princes! Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs. “ –Proverbs 19: 8-11
It is so hard for us to overlook someone who has hurt or betrayed our trust. Often they can not see the pain they cause. I know personally how hard it is to forgive people. I also know how important it is for us to do it. Our own human nature causes us all to think that we are right even when we are not. Even if we are hurt by someone we know to be wrong for their actions, we can’t expect them to apologize. Asking forgiveness from them sometimes is just submitting it to God and asking him to forgive us for holding onto the hurt.