Real Love

My husband Gary & I will be celebrating our 18th anniversary this Monday. (Nov 18) We still love and respect each other. More and more every day. We seldom fight and are happy to just spend a few minutes together. Not to say we didn’t ever fight. The first few years, like anyone, were hard. Sadly a lot of people don’t make it to far into a marriage, once they really get into the hard parts of a relationship. Through the good and bad we stuck together. We are stronger in the hard times which makes me love him even more. 3006_79319222754_5513133_n

Over the past few years we have been through a lot emotionally, financially, and health wise. Most recently he suffered a heart attack. To me all the that matters in the world is seeing him healthy and happy. I have been been a truck drivers wife a long time. I see him one or two days a week. At times not even that. So as you can guess, time is precious to us.We cherish every minute we have together because they come to be very few.

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I was looking through facebookwaiting for him to come home from the road. I was sad to see so many people upset over relationships. I got to thinking, why is it different for us? First thing I could think of is, respect. We have a vow to never talk about our person family life online. My friends and family will notice I seldom even talk about my life online. Nor about him. I seldom post photos or talk about us. Why? We don’t want our relationship to be something we have to convince others of how great it is. They only people we need to prov that to is each other. And we do.

I see so many people on Facebook complain about their relationships, boo-hoo over not seeing someone for a day, fight and blaze comments over trivial things, and then blame God because the relationship failed. First of all, as a truck drivers wife, I can say stop being selfish. If you get mad over not getting enough time together and focus on the time you do have. you will not have anything to be angry over when it comes to be ling lonely. Given if the person doesn’t take any effort to show you love. Don’t beg for it. It should come naturally.

Are you complaining on facebook about your life or relationship? Have you sit back an thought maybe tha, in it’s self, is the problem? While you are wasting time texting, facebooking, twitter, or what ever else. Did you take a little time in person to talk? Live in person to people? Things were so much different when people talked to one another. Now online you can be as mean or hateful online as you want and no one takes any responsibility. Don’t give yourself the thought that you have any entitlement.

I think one of the main problems I see from friends and family when relationships go bad is our own selfish, self serving purposes. They outweigh rational thought. We jump to texting  or would rather blaze cryptic message banners on facebook than talk. This goes for not only love relationships but, relationships with friends and family. One of my biggest pet pevs is to see a banner post that you know someone has shared to hurt someone. They put no names attached or even a note to tell the person that it is meant for them. But, of course we think the person should know its about them. Really? What if someone else you really care for thinks it is about them. What if that person who thought it was about them was your mom, dad, or best friends. now you have hurt someone and not even meant to. Online we refuse to tell real feelings to the person  we are mad at. Get a backbone! Talk to them. You might just find out what you are mad about isn’t even worth being mad over to begin with.

Next love is something you should not just jump into. Although me and my husband only were together for 6 months before we married, I wouldn’t suggest it to everyone. Sometimes you just know. But, if you are one who has had bad relationship after bad relationship take a little time. Get to know them before you say those 3 words of I love you.

So, how do we keep our love strong and still have a strong bond after 18 years?10-11-2010 02;07;39PM

#1 We put our love of and faith in Jesus Christ first. When we realized the importance of this our life together was better for it.

#2 Respect. Respect in ourselves & respect for the other person.

#3 Talk it out. The other person is not a mind reader. If something hurts you then say so.

#4 Keep your personal life private. You do not have to blaze your life over the internet to get likes. You don’t need your facebook friends to tell you how great you are. Truth is they don’t really mean it and it is just empty words. Once they are done reading it,  on to the next post, they have forgotten about it anyway.

#5 To get love you have to give love. Don’t expect it in return. Just do it because giving is so much more than taking.

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